15 Aphorisms

15 Aphorisms

by Kelp

for James Richardson

1.   Nothing new under the sun ... why not embrace it?  Enjoy it!  The pressure is off!  You’re free!

2.   Obliviousness: the time delay between when something bad happens and when you find out about it.

3.   The dog had a high yaptitude for annoyance.

4.   Nice guys don’t even finish, they get finished.

5.   The best advice I have ever received: “Get used to it, buddy.”

6.    Do eyeglasses get dirty from the outside or from the inside?   What about clothes?  What about people?

7.   Think of all the bills we have paid in our lives.  It’s quite an accomplishment.  Perhaps our greatest.

8.   My grown children, their biological clocks are ticking, they need to have their own children before it’s too late.   Simultaneously, my biological clock is ticking, I need for them to provide me grandchildren before its too late.

9.   The older I get, the more I smell like my father.

10.   Old-er and wiser and numb-er.

11.   The reason I believe in God is because He has so elegantly created a balanced ambiguity.   No one can prove He exists, and no one can prove He does not exist.

12.   I can’t decide whether I am fractional, or just divided.

13.   Nobody knows more than anyone else.  Everybody knows the same thing.  That’s the world we live in.

14.   The best blessing is the one you never heard.

15.   My epitaph: he preferred to eat the broken crackers in the box, leaving the whole ones over for someone else.