Bill 21
Bill 21
by Kelp
I am not embarrassed to say
That I have never worn my glasses on top of my head.
Never. Not even for a moment.
In my entire life.
Nor do I ever imagine myself doing so.
Okay, perhaps I have imagined it,
And perhaps I have even tried to do it,
Tried to position those glasses
In a way that is strange to me.
The part of the glasses that normally rests
On my nose
Would have to rest on top of my head,
Nested in my hair.
I can’t bring myself to do it.
It’s not that I am not adventurous
Or open to new experiences.
But glasses on the head just seems absurd
To me.
It doesn’t make sense to me.
I know some people think it’s cool.
Or fashionable.
Or aesthetically pleasing.
Or convenient, yes,
I understand that one may want to have one’s glasses close by and easily accessible.
Where you know you can find them.
Practical, right?
But that’s the irony, right?
The subject of many a joke and many a cute poem.
Searching all over for the glasses that you forgot were on your head.
I wish that was all there was to it.
A quirky joke. An eccentricity.
But there’s more.
I am embarrassed to say
I am repulsed by these people.
I find them foolish and absurd.
They have something on their heads
That shouldn’t be on their heads
And they act like everything is normal.
Don’t they know that the normal way to wear glasses
Is on your nose?
Around the neck on a chain
Doesn’t seem to bother me as much.
But glasses on the head
Ignites some kind of hostility,
Touches a nerve.
I can’t carry on a conversation.
I find myself fixating on the glasses.
I breathe in, I breathe out.
Why can’t I relax?
Why can’t I chill?
What did anyone with glasses on their head ever do to me?
Nothing. Nothing that I can recall.
Everyone has a right to wear their glasses wherever they want to.
Why should I care?
They can wear their glasses on their feet.
In between their toes.
They can wear them on their butt.
They can wear them in their butt.
Okay I have gone too far, I’m sorry.
I am really quite civilized, with regard to most things.
A liberal, really.
But these glasses on the head,
What can I do about it?
Is it my problem or is it their problem?
I know, I know. I know it’s my problem.
I need to deal with my feelings.
I need to be more accepting.
I need to accept that not everyone feels the same as I do
About glasses.
I am going to work on it.
But it’s going to take a lot of work.