What’s Your Favorite Vitamin?
What’s Your Favorite Vitamin?
by Kelp
I think for most it has to be C.
Orange juice and summer fruits,
Sweet and tart,
Our last resort
For conditions of the snout
Tickly, sniffley, stuffed or runny.
C is the key; the key of C,
Light and bright and floating free,
And easy to administer,
But then there’s something sinister
About its true identity:
Ascorbic acid is not very placid,
And let’s not speak of scurvy.
When your gums swell up and your teeth fall out,
Please don’t smile – don’t smile at me.
Let’s consider vitamin D.
For most it’s a deficiency.
Lacking what? The light of the sun.
Missing what? Calcium.
You can feel it in your bones.
Sitting all day all alone.
Don’t be rickety, old and gray ...
Drink your milk and go out and play.
And so we come to vitamin A.
The first to be discovered, in 1911.
By a woman named Davis and a man named McCollum.
At first they were quite happy to discover
Another excuse to eat lots of butter.
But further investigation revealed
That bright colored foods like carrots and kale,
Cantaloupe and spinach will
Help you see bright colors well.
You never saw a rabbit with glasses on.
And while it’s true that everyone passes on,
While we’re here it’s best to see clearly and brightly
Even those things which may be unsightly.
Vitamin B is very complex
Many shades and variation
B1, B2, B3
Also called thiamine, riboflavin, niacin
B5, B6, B7
Pantothene, pyridoxine, biotin
B9 is folate; B12 cobalamin.
Don't ask what happened to 4, 8, 10 and 11.
You may find them under B on a BINGO card
But not a B vitamin, though it may seem odd.
Still eight B vitamins are quite enough to keep your body in good snuff.
Maintaining healthy cell metabolism
Will keep you in a state of positive animism.
Now Vitamin E, uh, is the panacea
For every ailment you can imagine.
Smear Vitamin E oil into your skin.
Rub it in, rub it in.
And rub away cancer and heart disease
And build up your immunities
You'll never get sick; your hair will stay slick
Your skin will glow – you’ll forever have sex.
Vitamin E.
And from E we skip to Vitamin K,
Without any regard to F, G, H, I or J.
But K is not just an afterthought.
We need it to help our blood to clot.
Excessive bleeding is not recommended
If you want to keep your life extended.
So eat your collards and turnip greens.
Spinach and parsley, by all means.
K is in kale, don’t forget, to put some in your next omelet.
So what’s your favorite vitamin?
And do you take them in a pill?
Do you get the right amounts?
Or is there overkill?
Too much of a good thing can be bad of course.
But I’d worry more about the reverse.
So don’t neglect your vitamins.
Health is not valued till sickness comes.